Complaining

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Six more days.

Every morning when I walk I meet a man who walks quite a distance, at least five miles every single day. I see him out there when it is raining, snowing, it doesn't matter. Never, ever misses a day. Sometimes I meet him face on, sometimes I pass him but we always greet each other. He always comments on the weather and it is never negative. "We need the rain." "The snow is so beautiful." "It is such a beautiful day, isn't it?" What is remarkable about it is that I know he always means what he says. It is never just an automated statement. The truly remarkable thing about him is that he is walking with a cane, a Canadian crutch. A Canadian crutch is a cane with the three prongs on the base of it. He has clearly had a stroke, sort of drags one foot and one arm just hangs at his side. His pace is very slow but he is always cheerful and appears strong despite his disabilities.

I called a remarkable friend of mine this morning. Bill is my age and I have know him since our sons started kindergarten together in 1979. At one point he and his wife and Al and I were very good friends, spending a lot of time together in each other's homes and the neighborhood beaches. Then life got in the way, his wife, Netta, and I both found jobs and everyone's life changed. We would still see each other occasionally on the street but never spent time together intentionally any more.

I saw Bill about six years ago and he had just been diagnosed with colon cancer and I have stayed in touch with him since. Chemo and radiation. More chemo and radiation. Then lung cancer. Chemo and radiation. Then liver cancer. Chemo and radiation. Except for possibly one or two weeks in the past six years, Bill has been receiving chemotherapy. He has had innumerable surgeries and procedures. Just to add to the insult of all of it, he had a heart attack and open heart surgery in the middle of all of this. Oh, he did stop chemo temporarily at that time and was very upset as he felt the cancer would gain on him. I cannot even begin to capture with words what this man has endured over time. Yet, he never, ever even came close to giving up. Never. He just wanted to play golf with his son "next summer", wanted to be "around for Janet's (his daughter) wedding" and now, all he wants is to be around for the birth of his first grandchild in June. "There is always something to look forward to, Mary, always."

Two remarkable men, one a total stranger. What could I possibly compain about?

A new baby blanket for a new baby. Just started

this Sunday. This is another reason the sweater is called my "life sweater". Life gets in the way of finishing it. It can wait but this baby is going to join this weary old world in the fall so this blanket won't wait. It is a great pattern and is going to be fun to finish off.

I have been listening to Garrison Keillor and his "News from Lake Woebegone". I don't know if he writes it still or if he has writers but it is all so good. It sucks you in. The episode I listened to the other day was from the beginning of December, I think. He started singing a couple of very old songs and the audience joined in. I didn't even know the songs although I was a little familiar with "Juanita". It struck me when I was listening to him that that is probably something else we are losing as life becomes faster and more high tech. Do our kids stand around a piano and sing"old songs"? All of us McIntyres will always remember Dad playing the piano and Mom singing her heart out, especially if it was "When Irish Eyes are Smiling". And Uncle DC and Aunt Pat singing their own rendition of "Dark Town Strutters' Ball". I am not sure that our kids' music actually lends itself to anything like this but I think not.

And the garage floor is finished and well over half of the stuff headed off to the dump. Pretty sad actually. We had a very old piano in our home for a number of years that just never held a tune, etc, etc. It found its way to the garage at some point and has been there for years keeping Al's mother's sewing company that has been there for 25 years. We pulled them out and really looked at them yesterday. As one would expect, the wood was in very bad shape, all of the metal parts were badly rusted. Seemed an impossible project to restore them. So they are gone. Now, if I could figure out what to do with the pool table that Al just had to buy and store when we bought this house, 30 years ago this week. The slate is in the garage and will never be damaged. The rest of it is in pieces in the attic. I have moved that to the list of things that "the kids will have to deal with some day".

Holy Saturday

March 22, 2008

Life is really about continual change on every level of our being. Holy Saturday. I think I remember or I remember hearing about Holy Saturday when I was a kid and my parents had a big party at the house to mark the end of Lent as Lent ended at noon on Holy Saturday then. Dad and Mom always gave up drinking for Lent and I think they were probably the only people I know who really gave up something for everyday from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday (or Holy Saturday then). They didn't drink on Sundays or on St. Patrick's Day. The rest of the world seemed to need those days of reprieve. I think I remember or, again, remember hearing, about laying tiles on the basement floor Holy Saturday morning so that the party could be in the basement starting at noon. Heating the floor tiles in the oven or on the stove and running them down to Dad.

Nick, my hat's off to you. I know you gave up ice cream for Lent and I am quite sure you didn't eat it on Sundays or St. Patrick's Day. Nor meat on Fridays during Lent. You come from some solid Irish Catholic stock there, boy.

Speaking of Irish stock and St. Patrick's Day-Tara and Lizzie at the Throgg's Neck parade.

It has been a frustrating couple of weeks as the contractors were here replacing the kitchen and downstairs bathroom floors. They were only two years old but were done poorly the first time and needed replacing as the grout was all coming up, etc. So the usual testosterone surge for the first few days and then no one showing up for a few days and then they're back for one, one guy for two days, etc, etc. Now they are done and I am thrilled with the results, never mind it is nice to have a kitchen and bathroom again. The floors look boring but I am really pleased with them.

But the most exciting thing they did was build me shelves for the top of my kitchen cabinets. For years I have been gathering mugs when I travel places and the kids have brought me mugs also. They piled up in boxes in the basement while I half heartedly looked for shelves. I had in my mind I wanted shelves like the ones behind bars that hold the liquor bottles so I asked the contractor if he could build them. Sure, sure. Is there anything they can't do? Well, is there anything they can't do when they are doing the selling? He did build them and I am really happy with them so I spent this morning again gathering mugs and put them on the shelves. I will have Christmas mugs to add when I get the decorations out again and I still have two empty shelves

running the full length. I think the message is that I have to do some more traveling.

So since I really like this everything-being-a-mess-all-the-time thing, they are going to come on Monday and take everything out of my garage (yikes!) and put down a lot of gravel, tamp it down and return only half of the stuff to the garage under my direction. The rest is going to get thrown out. Right. Half. Will let you know how that goes.

I finished reading Richard Cohen's "Blind Sided" last night. It is about his 30 year battle with multiple sclerosis and is an excellent book, pretty depressing in parts but certainly portrays a very determined man. I used to be amazed at the patients and families I knew at work who lived with chronic illness and how they adapted their lives to it, or didn't. They were always people that I admired greatly. I started reading Kathy Reichs' "Deja Dead". It is her first book, thank you, Margaret and Liz. Her main character is a forensic archeologist and her work is what the TV show "Bones" is based on. I enjoy "Bones" a lot, so----

Eight more days until opening day at Yankee Stadium. The last opening day in "The House That Ruth Built". I am really happy to say we have tickets. Nick dropped off our ticket package yesterday so we are all set to go. We got email last week offering seats/suites in the new stadium for next season. I did hear on the radio yesterday that the $500/seat tickets and the $2500/seat tickets for the five seats directly behind home plate were sold out. That is $500/seat and $2500/seat PER GAME! Yes, indeed. Sold out. But there are suites still available for the season. Thank God for that, right? Whew!

And last but not least, Liz and I met Nick and Janet on the island for dinner last night at one of the seafood restaurants. So much food and a good time. Thanks, Nick and Janet.

Spring Equinox

March 20, 2008

It's coming. Yes, indeed it is coming. Actually had sunshine today although it was pretty cold and windy out. Kept waiting to see Dorothy and Toto fly by. I see that somewhere in Westchester County this morning a man was driving his 8 year old and 4 year old sons in his Mercedes van and a tree was uprooted and blown over on top of their car, killing the father, leaving the boys fine. What a horrible thing for that family. Life is just so fragile, isn't it?

But it is the first day of spring and things are starting to bust out. The down side? Heard on the radio this morning that they expect this to be one of the worst allergy seasons ever.

Crocuses in my back yard today.

St. Paddy's Day

March 17, 2008

A hard day. It has been 25 years today since Mary Sposito passed away. At the time it happened, I remember thinking

about how she was so vulnerable because she was "older",

perhaps couldn't fight as well, etc. She was exactly the same

age that day as I am today. It doesn't seem possible. I remember when Al died that someone said to me, like people always do when they struggle to make sense of a death, "Now he will be with his mother again." I don't know what I believe about all of that but if it is true, I do know there is no one, besides his kids, that he would rather spend his time with. RIP, Mary Sposito. Another one of those women who just had such a hard, hard life and, unfortunately, a very hard death also.

Last night Liz and I met Josh and Nolan and Josh's mom in the city for dinner. We ate at Shabu Shabu, at Josh's suggestion. For those of you who don't know, Shabu Shabu is a Japanese fondue restaurant. Well, shabu is Japanese fondu and the name of this Japanese fondue restaurant is Shabu Shabu. Josh taught us a lot about the process and it turned out to be a very enjoyable evening for all of us. The food is basically boiled in broth and you do it at your own table, starting with a fondu pot of hot water. The server, much to Josh's chagrin, first put vegetables in the water and it became like a vegetable broth for us to "swish--swish" our beef and chicken through the Japanese word "shabu" translating to "swish" in English. After the meat was done, then we ate the vegetables that had been simmering all this time. It was all excellent and quite healthy, obviously. So, not to get too healthy, we did walk over to Tasti-Delite. Tasti Delite in itself is not too bad but two of us did have to order it in cones which probably added significant fat and calories to the evening. More than anything else, we enjoyed the company. We met Josh almost two years ago when he spent a week in our home, looking for a job, looking for place to stay. It developed into a great friendship and we were thrilled to meet him mom.

The sweater is coming along. It doesn't seem like much but it was a few days of knitting and it has started to look like it may be a sweater some day with the back starting to take shape.

It is very slow going as every stitch has to be looked at, every row. There are two different patterns going on at the same time and one is 26 rows long and one is 16 rows long so I have to really have two separate counters going at the same time. There is so much cabling on it that I hope the mistakes will just get absorbed and only the knitter will know where they are. Someone was looking at it a couple of weeks ago and said that she would never find this relaxing knitting and I had never thought about it that way before. But I do realize that I can only watch mindless TV while I am doing it or the TV has to be off.

Books. Because I didn't have enough I had to order some more on line. There at the bottom is the new Martha Stewart cookie cook book. I keep thinking I want to make a batch of cookies every week and eat a few and freeze the rest. This book has 250 recipes in it. Sounds like a good way to start. Oh, but wait. Let me grow the vanilla beans first and buy the pastry bags to make the Oreos, and the things to roll the Italian cookies on and the Springerle molds, etc, etc, etc. As Liz would say, "Good luck with that, Mom."

I guess someone out there was worried that I didn't have enough books so somehow I got an extra copy of one in the mail today.

I just started reading this one. It is by Richard M. Cohen and it is his story of living with multiple sclerosis. He has a second book, which is the one I was most interested in but decided it was prudent to read the first one first (thanks to Liz and Margaret). The second one is about five people who live with chronic illness. I saw a lot of chronic illness when I was working and I was always amazed how people coped with it when it was an everyday companion. But first books first.

I just finished reading this one. I happened to see it when I

was at Border's last week, had never heard of it before and

thought I would just take a stab at it. I usually don't buy books that I don't know the author's work or someone has not recommended it to me. It was actually a pretty good book, some parts very predictable, but overall enjoyable. Definitely chick lit.

310 songs in my iTouch. I know it is chump change compared to a lot of people's but I am enjoying the heck out of listening to the music and the podcasts also.

More Books

Monday, March 10, 2008

STEEL MAGNOLIAS. The City Island Theater Group has just finished a two weekend production of "Steel Magnolias". It is probably one of the most successful productions they have done in quite a while. It was nice to go and sit in the crowded audience and enjoy the wonderful work of the cast and director. The timing of the dialogue was so "on" except, of course, for the actress who seems to never be able to know her lines and/or when to say them. Somewhat fortunately for her she always plays a role where the dull look, struggle to say something, etc. just seems like it is part of the show. The audience just thinks it is part of the character. Although I have never spent much time with this particular woman I think it is a case of art imitating life and doing a pretty good job of it.

The rest of the cast was excellent, all strong characters, all excellent in their roles. I do have to take a minute and talk about my daughter, the actress. I have seen her time and time again in all kinds of roles but when she is on, she is on. Everything I know about her involvement in a play always tells me that she is a professional and is very talented when it comes to learning her lines and rescuing the cast when that long pregnant pause occurs because someone has dropped their lines or really screwed up and jumped ahead pages and pages. Kudos to you, Liz.

Literally, more books. I still have books on my "to read" shelf that have been there for three or four years. The news ones just look so much better when it is time to pick a new book to read. And to top it all off, looking for books at Border's today there were two authors I wanted to take a look at. They both had the second and third and fourth, etc. books of the author but not the first. I guess I can read some of the 20 other books I have and look for the firsts on line. What? What am I doing?

I just finished reading the Tami Hoag book-"Guilty as Sin". It is old but it is definitely a good book. I found myself reading the last couple days for hours just to find out what happened. It is hard for me to start another book when I have finished one that I think is really good. But when I add these nine books to the 13 or so that are on the "to read" shelf, I am sure i will find one I think I will want to read.

The knitting has taken a hit because of the time spent reading. I have started the back of the sweater. If you look you can start to see the parts now. The crewneck collar and the shoulder cables going from the crewneck out to the arms. Now I am working on the cables on the back. The stitches are picked up along the shoulders and the back of the crewneck. Tomorrow night we are having a "Crochet/Knit night" at our house. Tara is talking about making a baby blanket so I will see if I can find a good pattern tomorrow for her to use. Maybe I will have a chance to give away some yarn-to a good cause.

I don't get the Eliot Spitzer thing. I do get it but I just cannot understand what he is thinking. He has three teenage daughters. I can't rush to judgment about his marriage, what it means, what it is about but three teenage daughters? What is he thinking? How can he be such a jerk to not get what the impact on them will be?

I am starting to get the hang of the iTouch. Well, a little anyway. I have music in it now and listen to it when I am walking Ms. S. in the morning. It makes the beginning of the day much brighter. There is a lot more to learn. I asked Nick to program it so that Garrison Keillor was uploaded every week and sure enough, there it is. I noticed I had about four weeks of programs in it now and decided to listen to one this morning. What I didn't have was "The Prairie Home Companion" or something like that which is what I was really looking for, not what I got. I'll figure it out. Well, Nick will. Well, I am sure that Nick already knows and can't wait to share this with his mother.

Liz and I got invitations to Nick and Janet's rehearsal dinner before their wedding in June. Will hear the details probably when the date is closer.

Photos

Wednesday, March 5, 2009

Pictures, pictures everywhere. Last November I was pretty determined to finally, once and for all, get all of my pictures organized. I piled them all in the spare bedroom, thinking that if they were all in one place this would go easier. I have made almost no dent in that pile although there was always a small pile sitting on my kitchen table for me to go through when I had nothing else to do. That pile has now moved to the work table in my dining room and it is still the same size.
Slides, movies, photos of every kind you can imagine.

But, and a huge but this is, I have finally organized, labeled and dated all of the photos in my computer. There are 2092 photos. I probably deleted that many or more. Now I will just download my camera every month and sort through them, label them and be done with it. Sounds like a plan. Let's see how long it lasts.

I do wonder what will happen to all of this, why I find it so important to have them dated and labeled. I don't think I have ever sat down and just looked at them although I love being able to show them to people who are interested. But what happens to them when I'm gone? I guess one of the kids will save them for a while but then what? It probably is really all about our own mortality questions.

Strange. The only blog without a picture in it is the blog about photos.

Reading

Saturday, March 1

I am not sure at what point in my life I became an avid

reader. I vaguely remember Dad and Mom reading but not very much. I know when they were older they did read more but I don't remember them sitting and reading a book at all when I was growing up. My siblings all read, quite a bit I think, so we must have gotten it from somewhere. Or, a favorite saying in psych, "we didn't lick it up from the floor"-it came from somewhere. And I am happy that both of my kids read as much as they do.

I hesitated to use the word "avid" as I know there are people who read far more than I do but I also know there are many more who read far less and I practically cry when I see or read anything about illiteracy. I think I probably read books between one and two hours a day but there are newspapers and magazine in between and so much to read on the internet.

I finished the Janet Evanovich book yesterday and went to my book shelf (above) to look for something new to read. When I retired I decided that I was going to read everything I had before I bought any new books. That didn't work at all but I have managed to keep it under much better control and only have about 17 books waiting. Some of them have been there a long time but I have weeded a number of them out and passed them along to my sister and niece. Going into a book store is comparable to going into a yarn store for me. I always end up buying great things that I just don't need.

In the meantime, newspapers pile up also. I have read the Daily News everyday for years but when I travel I always look for a New York Times. I have subscribed, unsubscribed, resubscribed to it so many times I can't tell you how many. It isn't that I don't love to read it, it is just that it piles higher and higher when it gets delivered everyday and, like any newspaper, I won't throw it out until I have read it. So now I just get it on the weekend and I buy it on Tuesday for the Science Times. Certainly seems manageable, as you can probably tell from this pile on the kitchen table.

Then in the basement there is this pile of magazines and catalogues waiting for me to read them while I am on the treadmill.

I feel sorry for people who don't read. It is such a great look outside of ourselves as well as a great escape. I have a very dear friend who has books piled all over his living room and bedroom, not a work of fiction in sight. "Why would anyone read a book that you are not going to learn something new from?" When I last saw his stash, there was a copy of "Kite Runner" laying on one of the piles. One of his friends gave it to him, encouraging him to take a walk on the wild side. He says he will, someday when he has time. All of the other books? I can only describe them as tomes. I know a tome is a large book but somehow in my mind it is also factual, small print, no pictures, no fun.

Nick comes close to that category although he does throw in fiction and cooking and baseball books once in a while. But...The Mystery of Megabytes......Programming for the K738H Generation.......Advanced OS-well, you get the idea.

In the end it is all just amazing. It is a huge, huge world out there and so much to learn and enjoy. To each his own.

My new book? A very old Tami Hoag. I think it is from 1996 but it is from the shelf. Only 17 more to go. I have read a couple of her books in the past and enjoyed them. I am not sure why this was on my shelf but it doesn't really matter. Another interesting reader quirk? Margaret reads her books in the order they were written. If she would decide to read Tami Hoag, she would start with the first one the author wrote and go on from there. If I like an author I will look for other books they have written and will try to read them in order but it isn't always a necessity, unless, of course, it is a set.

Nick and Janet and I saw Liz in "Steel Magnolias" last night. It was a good night for all and Liz, you were excellent-a hair doing, born again Christian. Good job.